Do We Try for Another Child?

So Jay and I decided that we would try for 6 months to one year, primarily because of my age and the fact that I needed to decide that if in that time frame a baby wasn't conceived, I'd let it go. Let it go....obviously not without tears and desperate desire to hold another baby of ours and give a sibling to Liam, but move on without thinking of it still being a possibility for us.

I called my favorite doctor, Dr. Richard Jamison, who delivered Liam, to have a consultation. Although he had always told me we could do this again, with a cerclage this time as a precautionary measure, I hadn't been ready. Of course, Dr. Jamison was still wonderful and reassured me once again that we could do this. We went over my file, the numbers, the trajectory of how things happened last time, but eventually he said, "Honey, I know you are a smart girl, but sometimes you need to decide with your heart and not with your head, then have some faith." Those were the words I must have needed to hear because I left feeling excited.

However, Dr. Jamison had also sent me to have a mammogram because of my age to establish a baseline. Of course things wouldn't be so simple. I had the first one, not as bad as I would have thought...because I am small (both breasted and thin) and because I am flexible enough to manipulate into any pose. However, something showed up and they wanted me to do it again. The second one still was not good and because of the location they couldn't do an ultrasound. So Dr. Jamison ordered a biopsy (which of course is what I wanted since I didn't want to sit not knowing since I was about to start trying to conceive again).

Long story short, I had the biopsy and the results were negative for the spots they'd seen. Benign is always a good word. So we were now going to try. And after all this, I prayed that it would happen sooner rather than later because I was beginning to get scared and was afraid I'd change my mind.