Mi Argentina Querida, "Cuando Te Vuelva a Ver"

I have this tango playing over and over in my heart right now. I miss Argentina badly right now. I have this urge to "go home." I told Jay this the other day and told him that while my home is with him, my heart is with him, there is still a part of me that still longs for my home there. And because the farm feels the same way to him, he understands I think without feeling badly. So I talked to my parents about the thought and possibility of going to Argentina in October of this year and then asked Jay after knowing my parents could travel with us at that time. It would make it so much easier to travel with them if Liam is going.

This trip I want it all to be for pleasure and not for obligations. I told my parents that I would only see who I wanted to see and do what I wanted without having to do obligatory house calls. They seemed okay with it. I want most of all to go for a couple of days and one night at least with Jay alone (while Liam stays with my parents) to a place in the mountains where there are mud baths and thermals. A spa Maria and Nathan went to and my parents also visited a couple of years ago. It would be so wonderful to experience that with Jay, the love of my life, in the mountains I love so much. Good wine, baths, mountain fresh air, fine food and just alone, together. I think we've earned that. Especially this year. Although I'm sure Jay would much rather go to another country and continent for that matter, Liam is still quite young and we can't leave him behind with mom and dad yet and taking him would be too much for all of us if it's a place we've never visited. Specially with his requirements.

I am also dying to be with my aunts again and since the wonderful world of Facebook, since I've been reconnected with all of the people who gave me such a wonderful childhood, I want to just visit. I want to hug them, cry with them, have mate with them, share my beautiful family with them. Even if I know that Liam will be shy and they won't get to experience him as I do, but they will be crazy about him because he's part of me. That's just the way they are. And I cannot wait. So no matter what, I have to keep this job. I cannot quit it no matter how bad it gets.

I want mi abuelito to meet Liam, I want to take Liam to all of the city parks I spent hours as a child. I want him to breath the city air I grew up breathing (even if the gas is worse now). I want to walk around and get ice cream, visit the zoo in the mountain, eat tons of beef and tomatoes. I just need to be there, walk down those sidewalks with the asequias, slow the pace, feel their anguish without being consumed by it. Even though the elders who loved me have mostly passed, I want to feel them there, in the places I shared with them.