Today, being a Saturday, presents the challenges of going to work both because I would much rather stay home with my boys, especially since Jay starts his weekend, and because it is the end of the work week for me. This morning I was greeted with Liam waking up, yet again, extremely early (4 a.m.) and then he cried because he didn’t want me to go to work, until the Christmas package from Holly arrived.
Work was really busy this morning. The busiest the library has ever been in the 5 months I’ve been here. And then, in the middle of my helping a student deal with personal problems, crying included, one of my favorite instructors shows up to whisk me away to a faculty meeting to which I have a presentation to give. The little hiccup is that my Dean never told me I was part of the agenda and of course never gave me the items of which I was supposed to speak. So I went an ad libbed the whole thing, looking at her intermittently to make sure I was supported in what I was conveying. I was shaking, which is strange for me. I was not prepared nor did I have a couple of minutes to do so. I think it was well received and I conveyed the main points that have needed to have been addressed a long time ago.
The rest of the afternoon was uneventful, for which I’m grateful. I look forward to going home, even if it’s a toy-ridden mess, to have some NY strip steak, wine, and love all over my boys. I miss them so much it hurts. Every day it gets harder and harder. I keep thinking every day, I can always quit. Which makes it a little easier to get through the day, even if it was not the best decision. This morning driving in to work I thought, “You can’t quit, you need this for your resume.” And I do. So I must stick it out no matter how hard the schedule and how poor the pay. It will also help us still to pay the bills, prepare for the future, save some money.
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