My Caterpillar Has Become a Butterfly

The symbol of the caterpillar and the butterfly has had a special significance for me since I was about 5 months pregnant with Liam and I didn't know then how this analogy or metaphor would present itself every so often. When I was bedrested and utterly bored I started thinking of children's books to write. I'd always loved them and the lessons they taught me. So while looking outside the sliding doors in my room I noticed butterflies that every so often flew in through the screens that were broken in our lanai. The idea was born: to write a children story about a caterpillar who is afraid of becoming a butterfly and spending all of his time in fear hiding, thinking if he hides no one will remember and he can just continue being a caterpillar safe on the ground instead of preparing for the big day, talking to the other caterpillars who are excited and the butterflies who reveal to him the beauty seen from above and greater distances one can travel with a beautiful set of wings. Then when the day happens and of course, he sees how silly he was, even if it takes him a little longer to make proper use of his wings.

Then when I was hospitalized one late Friday night, the only thing that made me feel safe was that my room had a large framed picture of a bright, orange and black butterfly. I took it to be a sign that everything would be okay. Afterall, I had been in bed now for months afraid of my next step, like the caterpillar, afraid that something would go wrong with an early birth of the baby. Afraid of the next step, wishing to hold on for dear life like the caterpillar did so onto his leaves. Then the birth happened and everything turned out to be better than we expected.

Three years later, I am still reminded of it through different stages of Liam's growth - particularly every time there is something that may be challenging for him to accomplish to when he masters the task. I dreaded him attending his new school with a new teacher, albeit I knew she'd be wonderful, new kids, new routine, etc. And after three weeks of hard work, consistent disciplining him, taking him five mornings per week and a strict routine at home where we had to deal with a heavy backlash from him over this huge change in his life, my little caterpillar has become a beautiful butterfly. He has finally spread his wings and taken flight, no longer being held back by fear of change, other children, or a different routine. I couldn't be more proud of this monumental achievement of his and I do not take it for granted any morning when he tells me he's ready to go to school, when I drop him off with him not bothered by my leaving, when I pick him up and see the joy in him showing me his artwork and on the ride home when he tells me how he had fun.

I thought it would take him so much longer but with the amazing structure, patience, and love of his teacher he has just blossomed so beautifully so quickly. I am ever so thankful to her, the tight ship she runs, the many hugs and kisses she gives him on a daily basis and all of the wonderful things she shows him. His tantrums have disappeared (I know this won't last forever), his moody behavior and whining are gone and with our consistent follow through on everything he is a different child than he was a month ago. I am the happy and proud mother I've always wanted to be. I love my baby.